Tales of the Bean
by Soului
Summary: Four drabbles. Each one dedicated to the turtles and their encounters with...caffeine. Fear for the world.


AN: Thought I'd try something a little different this time. Each drabble features one of our favorite terrapin teenagers, each based on the prompt. It was an interesting concept and I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT. I wish I did, but I don't.

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**Prompt: Caffeine**

**Leo**

As a rule, Leo did not drink coffee. He had no need to, unlike some of his brothers who practically lived on the stuff. No, He was naturally a morning person. He needed no help in waking up. Ultimately, he found a calming drought of tea helped prepare him for his day much better than any chemically induced boost. Besides, sharing a cup of sencha with Master Splinter had become one of his most beloved morning rituals.

Oh, he enjoyed the smell well enough. The odour of fresh coffee in the morning was one of his indicators that everything was right with his family. However, he himself had never enjoyed the taste. It was too strong, too bitter. Donnie could have it as far as Leo was concerned.

_Crunch!_

Donatello's fingers stilled on the keyboard as he turned to face his older brother. Leo looked down at the bowl of chocolate covered coffee beans with a sense of horrified surprise.

Donnie just shrugged. "That'll teach you to steal candy off my workbench now, won't it?" He smirked, turning back to the screen.

**Raph**

The woman's breath made little puffs of steam around her face, her back pressed hard against the cold brick wall. Her eyes were wide and terrified as the man who had cornered her stalked forward, drawing a knife.

"I'll scream." She warned him desperately.

The man snickered. "It's two in the freaking morning." He scoffed. "Go right ahead."

He was close now. Close enough for her to hear him breathe, far too close for her to slip around. The icy steel of the knife stung her throat. She closed her eyes…

…There was a startled curse and the blade disappeared. She heard the slight _ting_ if it hitting the asphalt, felt the breeze as her attacker was shoved away. She dared to open her eyes just in time to see an…alien?...beat her attacker into unconsciousness. Turning around, her rescuer froze as their gazes met.

Tawny eyes stared back at her from behind a red mask. One three-fingered hand slipped a fork-like dagger back into his belt (sai right? They were called sai in all of those kung fu movies her boyfriend dragged her to.).

The creature regarded her for one more second before taking several running strides down the alley.

"Wait!" Her voice ripped from her throat before she even thought about it. To her utter surprise, the creature paused and looked back over his shoulder.

"Please…" She pleaded. "I won't freak out or anything, just don't run off."

He turned to face her fully and her muscles subtly relaxed. "Thank you." She offered.

He only shrugged.

For a moment there was an awkward silence. She didn't know what to say, didn't want to insult him by asking pushy questions, but 'thank you' just seemed so inadequate…

"Do you like coffee?" She blurted suddenly.

"What?" His gruff voice was startled.

She flushed, but didn't back down. "It's cold tonight." She explained. "Do you like coffee?"

Her saviour rocked back on his heels.

"Hold that thought." She ordered, running out onto the sidewalk. She had seen a little all-night diner less than a block away.

She was back ten-minutes later, a steaming cup in her hands. To her surprise, the creature was still there, leaning against the wall in the back of the alley. The thug he had knocked out was nowhere in sight.

Pushing the cup into his hands, she tried very hard not to stare at his reptilian features. "I got it with cream and sugar," She babbled. "I didn't know how you liked it so…"

" 'S fine." He cut her off, staring at the cup like he had never seen anything like it.

"I'm Melissa by the way." She introduced, sticking her hand out without thinking.

The move seemed to amuse him. "Raphael." He replied, reaching out slowly to shake her hand. She made very sure not to flinch.

She took back her hand. "I know a lot of people who wouldn't have done what you just did." She informed him. "Thanks again."

With one last nod, the woman walked back out of the alley. She didn't look back.

Hamato Raphael looked down bemusedly at the steaming cup. The warmth felt good on his hands. After all, it was January in New York and he **was** cold blooded. Raising it to his beak, he took a long, appreciative sip.

He smiled the entire way home.

**Donnie**

Anyone who spent any amount of time with the Hamato clan soon learned a few basic rules of life.

Number 1-Don't let Raph touch anything breakable while he's angry.

Number 2- Sneaking up on a ninja is a bad idea (and usually futile since they hear you coming anyway).

Number 3-Never, ever, under any circumstances imaginable, mess with Donnie's coffee stash.

Donatello stood in front of the cupboard, frozen in disbelief. _No way, there was no way._

He began to rifle frantically through the selves. The coffee tin had been _right there_. Right between the cheerios and the sugar. He had put it there himself last night after he had brewed his evening pot. There had been enough left for this morning, he had checked.

Increasingly desperate, he pushed his arm all the way in, thinking that maybe it had gotten pushed back accidently by one of his brothers.

No luck.

"Hey bro." Mikey greeted cheerfully, strolling into the kitchen. "Whatcha looking for?"

Donatello whirled to face him so violently that Mikey took an involuntary step back. "Where is it?!" Donnie pleaded desperately. "Have you seen it?!"

"Umm," Mikey regarded his older brother somewhat warily. "Seen what bro?"

"My coffee!" Donnie's hands flew up in panicked exasperation. "My coffee is gone!" He turned back to his frantic searching. "It was here…I know it was here. I saw it here only last night!"

Glancing around, Mikey's eyes landed on something that made his heart sink.

Oh, this was going to be _**bad**_.

"Ummm, Donnie?" He offered timidly. "This coffee of yours…it's in that blue tin right? I mean…that's the only tin of coffee you have right?"

"Yes!" Donnie snapped, arm still buried in the cupboard. "Why?"

Mikey shuffled from foot to foot. "Well, just…sort of like that tin that's in the trash can right now?"

"WHAT!" Donnie was by the trash can so fast that Mikey was half convinced he had just teleported.

Sure enough, the empty Maxwell House tin was lying innocently on top of the garbage.

"But..." Donnie sputtered. "There was some left. Last night when I put it away there was just enough for this morning! I checked! How did…?"

Brown eyes locked on the coffee machine, still warm and with the slightest residue of fresh brew.

"Raph." Donnie snarled, his visage truly frightening as he stomped out of the kitchen.

Mikey debated for a moment. Normally, Donatello was gentlest out of all of them, but this early and no coffee…

…Mikey ran after his brother.

"Raphael!" Donnie's voice was cold with fury.

Raph glanced back from his punching bag, turning fully in when he saw the murderous rage on Donatello's face.

"Don, what…?"

"My coffee," Donnie snarled, closing their distance to a few inches. "My coffee is gone. It wasn't Mikey, it certainly wasn't Leo or Master Splinter, so there is exactly one person who it could've been."

Raph almost went cross-eyed trying to follow the finger in front of his face.

"Anything to say for yourself?" Donnie hissed.

The normally aggressive turtle wisely flinched back. "I didn't think it was the last of it," He tried to defend himself. "Ya always have another tin lying 'round somewhere."

An animalistic growl came out of Donnie's throat.

"But since I used it up, I'll go get ya some more." Raph hurried to say, backing up slowly. "There's that café outside of April's that makes those espresso things ya like. That's gotta be better than some lousy home brew right?"

Homicidal urges placated by the thought of good coffee, Donnie let out a grunt that could possibly be interpreted as assent. Raph shot around him and out the door, shell cell already in hand.

"Hey April? Yeah, sorry to bug ya this early, but I really, _**really**_ need ya to do me a favor…"

**Mikey**

"La _**lah**_ la la la lah, la _**lah**_ la la la _**lah**_! Lah lah lah _**LAH! La le lalalala LAH! LAH! LAH! WHEEEEEEEEEE!"**_

Leonardo jumped back into the dojo just in time to avoid a green and orange blur taking the legs out from under him.

_What the shell?_

As it slowed down, the figure resolved itself into Michelangelo, spinning on his shell like a top and…giggling?

"Leo! Leo, bro you have to try this! At first you're like, holy shell! And then you're like, wheeee! And then you're like, duuddee! And it's the most awsomest thing EVER!..."

Leo stepped carefully out of the doorway, half expecting his other brothers to come barreling past as well. After looking both ways and assuring himself that Mikey hadn't roped anyone else into this scheme, he turned his attention back to the orange clad turtle. He was still babbling.

"…And the colours and shapes all blur together. And you start getting really dizzy. It's like that TV show that's on all the time. You know, the anime thing with the kids and the tops battling…" The sudden look of inspiration on Mikey's face was frightening to behold. "…Hey, that's a fantastic idea! We can be beyblades! I'll start on this end of the lair, and you go to the other end…"

"No Mikey," Leo sighed patiently. Walking over, he stared down at his youngest brother, still prone on the floor and giggling as if he was high. "You raided Donnie's candy stash." He surmised.

"Dude! _Crunchy chocolate_!"

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A/N: For those who didn't get it, the candy that Mikey stole was the chocolate covered coffee beans that Leo ate by accident in the first drabble.

As always, any feedback is welcome. I would especially appreciate if you would let me know about any typos you spot. I edit and spell check, but I have no beta, so sometimes things slip through the cracks.


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